How to Start Organizing Inherited Items When Grief Makes It Feel Impossible

Listening to Your Grief, But Doing It Anyway

How do I even start decluttering my late mom’s room when it feels overwhelming and emotional?

Welcome back to Ask Cathy: Real Home Organizing Advice! Each month, I tackle your toughest home organizing challenges with practical solutions (and a little humour). If you're experiencing a downsizing mental block, feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or just don't know where to start, you're not alone—I'm here to help you declutter with confidence.

Dear Cathy,

I feel overwhelmed and afraid to even open the closet door in case I start an avalanche.

It used to be my mom's bedroom. She passed ten years ago, and I haven't touched it since. Now it's stuffed with her things—and mine on top of it.

She was a knitter. There are bags and bins of yarn, boxes of patterns, and needles tucked in every drawer. It's dangerous—I could cut myself if I'm not careful. I keep telling myself I'll deal with it later.

I don't even remember what's in there anymore. How can I deal with going through her things?

I miss her. And keeping her things feels like keeping part of her.

But I also know I can't leave it like this forever.

Where do I start?

Overwhelmed and Stuck

Dear Overwhelmed and Stuck,

I can sense how heavy this is for you.

You're not just looking at a closet full of stuff. You're facing memories, love, loss—and the mess that builds up when we put things off for understandable reasons.

The room still reminds you of your mom's life. Her projects, her passions. And now, some of your things have landed on top of hers. That's a lot to deal with. It's no wonder you're overwhelmed.

The Truth About Organizing Inherited Items

When we're sorting through a loved one's things, we're not just organizing inherited items—we're grieving. There's no right way to declutter sentimental items, but there are ways to make it feel a little easier.

A Gentle Way to Begin

One approach that works in situations like this is to take everything out—bit by bit—so you can see what you're dealing with.

Yes, it'll look like chaos at first. That's okay. Once it's all out, you can start making simple decisions:

• What's worth keeping?

• What could be used?

• What might be better passed on?

  
  

And listen, you don't have to do this alone.

Tackling a space like this can be too much for one person. It's emotional. It's physical. It's draining. Having someone by your side—a trusted friend, or even better, a professional organizer—makes a big difference.

Look for an experienced professional organizer who's worked with these kinds of layered, sentimental spaces. Someone who knows how to keep things moving, without rushing you through it.

Moving Forward While Honoring Memory

Decluttering your mom's things doesn't mean forgetting her. It means making space to remember her without the clutter getting in the way. It's okay to take your time. Even looking at one bin is a step.

You're not erasing her memory—you're making space to remember her with less stress and more love.

And when the room is finally usable again, it won't mean she's gone. It may even make you feel closer.

These kinds of emotionally complex transitions are exactly why I'm passionate about creating resources specifically for people navigating life changes after fifty. There's so much more to downsizing than just organizing—it's about honouring the past while making space for what comes next.

Ready to Take the First Step?

You don't have to organize inherited belongings alone. If you'd like some support—whether it's creating a plan, working side by side, or just having someone keep you company through the process—contact us here to learn how we can help. If you're in the Toronto area, call Brad at 416 859-0518.

With care,

Cathy

Are you sorting through inherited belongings or trying to declutter after a loss? You're not alone. Share your story in the comments below, and let's support each other through it.